Hey, it's been awhile... So many things happened and life was a total mess...
September's a very bad month for me because I lost one of my most precious person in my life, and that is my grandma. I was in complete shock when I received a call from 2nd aunt from Malaysia at 2am on around 7th september... 2nd aunt was crying and crying and I was feeling kinda helpless and small. After she told me what happened, I went into complete shock. Woke mum and dad up and hand the phone over to them. We pushed all our activities for the next day away to return to Malaysia and attend the funeral.
The mood was... gloomy and lonely? Mum cried when she saw grandma in her coffin. Did rituals the next day and it was really tiring but worth it. The funeral lasted for 4days and after we went to bury grandma, we stayed over for another day to rest.
It's finally august now and I believe this month will be better. Mummy still cannot accept the fact that grandma's gone and sometime I caught her sobbing alone in her room, but of course, she doesn't know that I saw. Somewhat I'm a little bit disappointed in myself. I didn't capture alot of images of grandma for mummy. Actually, none of us did. There's so many things I wanted to say to her. I want to apologize, for making her feel hurt. Remembered that when I was in kindergarten, I asked mum why does grandma smells in front of grandma and I can see the hurt look on her face, but i guess i wasn't that sensitive back then to stop. Mum gave me a slap and told me to not ask, and I got angry. I threw a big tantrum, "left" grandma's house and wandered around. Grandma came looking for me with a lollipop and tried persuading me home, I scolded her but yet, she still bought me back and didn't even bother to scold or lecture me.
I was such a fucking bitch back then.
Grandma, I'm so sorry for all the hurtful stuffs I did or say to you when I was young. I hope you're well and fine and have loads of majong/ hong dian kaki up there.
Yeap, grandma's death is a big blow to me. I didn't expect her to leave us so soon... We just celebrated her birthday near july and august, she was still so lively then, who would've known that she'll just leave us like that? but anyways, I'm okay now I guess. I mean, it's part of life, to be born, and to die. During grandma's funeral, i've learnt alot and I bet if I were to die now, I would end up in hell and doing loads of punishments. I'm a mean person and I think i've sinned alot. I'm not going to start afresh, but I'm going to wash away all my sins.
Exam started too. English paper downed. English was okay I guess except for the mindmap part. I don't know how to do a mindmap for a persuasive essay sighs. Hope I don't screw this. Science paper tomorrow and I'm only done with 5 chapters. I still have 10 more to go. -cross fingers- Hope I do well tomorrow. I really want to do well for tomorrow...
There's really too much on my mind. For some reason, I think I'm becoming more and more of a "worry a lot" person. Friendships, relationships, family, finance, health, food, school, everything. Things that I've never really paid attention to in the past, is now part of me? It doesn't make sense.. but.. for some reason, it's just like that. whatever. I should just stfu. :B
On friday this week, after my english paper, I went home and prepared to meet venus to have lunch and STUDY. we had lunch at kfc for like, 1++hrs and in the end, we didn't study at all. Because of venus la!! She claims to bring me to a "romantic" place to study. IN THE END?! SHE BOUGHT ME TO THE FIELD NEAR CHRIST CHURCH SEC LOL. And it rained that day so the mud was muddy. I was wearing slippers while she was wearing shoes. WE HAD TO CLIMB UP and you know what? my whole slipper and foot was covered with mud and I WAS ATTACKED BY INSECTS. Then, when we finally got up, and this sporty girl suggest we walk and explore around till sunset, so we can catch the sun set.
We crossed traffic at the high way, and funnily, venus fell down in front of the lorries and cars at the traffic but luckily there was a traffic light there and it's green lmao. the cars honked at us and I pulled venus away. The people in the cars/lorries were like, staring at us while we walked into a mysterious forest???
then, WE GOT LOST *_= . all because venus wanted to try being "adventurous" LOL. walked about 1hour through this forest thingy and finally got out. AND THE MOST DRAMATIC THING HAPPENED.
we saw the ray of holy light shinning at our exit, we were so tired and upon seeing our exit, WE RAN OUT! then me and venus went like
-look at each other-
-hugs-
AND THEN A LORRY OVERTURNED RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! LOL.
it was like, SO UNREALISTIC. It's like, planned. IT'S LIKE A DREAM LOL.
then venus and I stunned cause we can't believe what we've just saw =_=ll
THEN, the smoke from the lorry came out. the air around the area was practically polluted, I was like, trying to run away while VENUS STUNNED THERE AND DIDN'T MOVE LMAO.
I HAD TO FREAKING DRAG HER TO THE BUS STOP, so we don't inhale the harmful gas!
Then, bus came and we went to yishun. Mrt-ed home @ 7 and did revision.
The accident, was just, too unrealistic lmao. it's like a drama. we finally got out of the forest, and is screaming in joy when suddenly an accident took place and furthermore, venus stunned there and didn't move an inch LOL. What a life experience HAH.
Lesson learnt : Never try to be adventurous when you don't know where the road is taking you to.
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