Well, had been feeling rather depressed, tired and down. All the emotions just came to me at the same time.. stress, pressure, jealousy, hatred, rage and I'm just really, really exhausted.
I feel like an imbecile for believing people so easily, too easily in fact. Trusting almost everyone without doubting them and without doubting, just believing in everything they told me.
Guess I'm just really exhausted with life and everything. Don't like the feeling of being cheated, being taken advantage of. So recently, someone that's quite close to me and I quarrelled. Yeah, all humans make mistakes and everybody should deserve a second chance. But no, what the person did was just so... unexpected cause I trusted the person so much and the person promised to not be like any others and do stuffs that are just wrong.
And again, if you're a human, you'll break promises. It's just a nature thing I guess but, the person's not apologetic at all for all these. So why should I be gracious enough to give the person another chance?
I see so many people abusing other people because the other person forgives them, its not on.
no-one should abuse anyone's trust and not be sorry and be forgiven to continue to do it again
I'll forgive but I'll never be able to forget what the person did to me and I guess I'll never be able to look at the person the same way I did ever again. Trust is an important factor of friendship. I'm just too disappointed and all and I guess since the person broke the promises, I can break mine too and I'll make sure to keep my distance.
After reading all that, some of you might criticize me. Just go ahead, you won't ever understand how hurtful these are unless you're me or you've been through my situations. And just by reading a post, there are alot of things left unsaid because the internet, blogging is such an exposed area. Those that are close to me, was there for me during this period of time to support me will know exactly what happened. And I just really appreciate every single one of you who are there to cheer me on, help me and support me. People like zaid, andrew, william, mark kor, terrence, jing, venus, my cousin sang, my cousin minmin, and my mom. Really really appreciate and love them to the core for supporting and consoling me when I'm super down :) and to those that asked me to cheer up and all like hayati, my cousin jammy, my cousin zhenzhen, jeremy, keith and jj, although they didn't know what happened, I'm still really thankful. :)
I guess I'm quite lucky to have people to stand by me, to support me when I'm in such a depressed state and I really can't express my gratitude towards all of them.. In fact I don't know how to express myself well with words and I'm really sorry. :( I really want to thank andrew, zaid and william for standing by me, cheer me up and giving me encouragements when I'm at lost and all I know was to cry. Mark kor for making effort to meet me up so he could cheer me up but I rejected him since I had to chiong revision for exams, jing and venus for being there for me, to listen to me and make me feel better and terrence to ask me what happened through whatsapp eventhough he's at beijing. My relatives, mum and dad for being so understanding and caring. Cooking me my fav meals to cheer me up and making me smile by doing silly things :') thank you.
I hurt andrew and zaid before yet they're still there to cheer me up and giving me encouragements + support. I'm just... really very touched and yeah, thankful for having them in my life. And I feel so guilty for hurting such nice people before. :/
anyways, half of my post is about all these alr lol sorry, I guess blogging is a good way to express my feelings cause not much people read my blog haha, and I get to refer to this post in future and be able to remind myself and say that, "wow, I have such great friends... :') Look at how much we changed and grow!! I must treasure, love and not disappoint them."
Shall start updating. with pictures :) dates not in order cause I can't remember when all these took place.
So, on teacher's day, me, jing, venus, keith, xian ming, xian ren, shafiq and akmal went back to siling. :') Finally saw mdm rita in 2012. Didn't get to see her in 2011 as she was on MC as she just delivered~
So yeah, take a look at the evolution! LOL.
In 2009, as a class.
So apart from my primary school, me and some other friends prepared cupcakes for all our secondary school teachers/staffs as well! :D Nomz. That teacher's day week was really heptic and my schedules were really full. There were just many programs and even on saturday I had to go back to school for activites and workshops :'( If I'm not wrong, teacher's day was on a friday and thus I stayed back on thursday to help back the muffins. The results were really worth it! :D The cakes were really nice (I stoled one LOL) and I hope all the teacher's enjoyed our cupcakes! ^^ stay healthy, cheerful and uhm..... have more livelier voice with each year that passes by? hehe. Really can't stand teachers with monotones :'(. theywillspeaklikethis,likearobot.nointonation,nonothing,soboring.itdrivesmemad.
yeah! :D
On one of the saturdays, went for venus' early birthday celebration with jing. :)
Her friends and cousin yandy was there too! As we don't really know her friends (except for that asshole annabelle, <3), we went around with yandy to.. DESTROY STUFFS. MUAHAHAHA.
Wondering why I wore the same shirt with jing and it's from wrs? It's cause that pampered birthday girl PUSHED ME AND JING DOWN THE POOL!!!! and worse of all, me and jing was having menses and she pushed us down the pool!!!!! EEEEW! She even tore my shirt while pushing me and I defend myself (by lying on the floor) :'( I had cuts on my legs because of this cause the floor is those stone kind and the friction was just..... =_=. So anyways, after being pushed down, me and jing dragged her down too! We left her cousin yandy alone cause she was having her phone and if we pull he down with us, her phone will spoil! hehe. >:D In the end, since all of us were wet already, we continued playing in the pool LOL. Went over to her house for a quick shower and thus, me and jing has the same shirt! The shirt that I wore was her smallest shirt.... can you believe it? LOL. It's quite oversized for me though. :'( But it's okay... I look and smell like venus...... lol. After showering, we went to help at the bbq pit but the parents shooed us away cause they say that we will destroy the food :'( lol...... so we went to the playground instead and boy, feels so good to play with the slides and all! It felt as if we were all just 7 years old hehe.
Went back to school on one of the saturdays for mrs stella goh's workshop and briefing for program. It was a really long and tiring workshop I swear! everything ends at about 6+ If I'm not wrong? Was dead tired by then but these cinnamon rolls cheered me up! :') It's sooo sweet and chocolaty! Really love being in friend in knead's baking session and programs cause I get to help, and bring home good and yumz food! The sense of achievement, joyfulness and the friendships made/bonded were awesome! And at the same time, we make people happy and feel wanted by baking them stuffs and all! So it's double joyfulness hehe. :)
Attended family bonding session at malaysia with all my relatives except for the cousins as they were busy working on one of the saturdays! Had yumz buffet and with 30+ people, our bill were only like $500rm LOL? Swear it's super cheap. There were alot of good food like quality beef, seafood and all but I don't eat those LOL. Swear I'm super picky when it comes to eating and mum kept lecturing me because of my food :( All my food are common food that can be eaten at any time.... and my mum was like "LING AH, COME BUFFET DON'T EAT NOODLES! GO FILL YOUR PLATE WITH GOOD FOOD NOW, TAKE ALL THE EXPENSIVE ONE AH!!". LOL. swear my mum's super cheapskate! But nvm la, I didn't listen to her anyways cause I don't enjoy good food LOL. Was super filling too. :D
Went to support zhen zhen for her singing competition on one of the saturdays as well! Didn't wanted to go initially but after much persuasion from my mum, I decided to just go since it's a rare opportunity and she's in the top 10! And I prepared 2 boards for her at the last minute cause I thought she'll feel more loved and have more confidence when singing!! :D As It was a really last minute board, I drew the outline only and got my mum to shade them LOL. and........ look at the weird colours... T_T Oh well~ at least I had the heart to do it so everything's okay and fine. :D When on the way to malaysia, I saw jiaqi when I was on the bus and texted her, surprisingly, she was heading over to KSL too!!!! Same destination as me and guess what? When she came out of the taxi, I saw her LOL! I think we're really fated lor HAHA. Anyways, zhenzhen got top 5 I guess, but not top 3 so she was a little upset :(. Also, it was a little embarrassing to hold the board cause no one else in malaysia bought or did any boards for any of the contestants!!! :/ Wanna see how she fare? :D ! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151090677456158&set=t.1647093137&type=3&theater
Celebrated venus' birthday on one of the days at empire state! Had great fun with her and jing! <3 :D
Had my fnn practical and those are my dishes! :( my pie failed miserably so i used icing sugar to cover the failed areas LOL. so smart of me HAHAHHAA.
and with that, that's the end of the post I guess. :) till next time! ciaos! ^^
oh before i end this post, I really wanna thank everyone for standing by me, supporting me, giving me physical and mental support! :D With all these supports, I realize I can actually forgive and forget the person! ^^ Thank you so much, especially to Andrew. thank you andrew! So blessed to have you as a friend. :D
And of course, not forgeting my cousins, mummy, jing they all, william, mark kor, zaid and all the others, really really blessed to know you guys! :D
alrights, that's officially all i have! Ciaooooooos people!
On one of the saturdays, went for venus' early birthday celebration with jing. :)
Her friends and cousin yandy was there too! As we don't really know her friends (except for that asshole annabelle, <3), we went around with yandy to.. DESTROY STUFFS. MUAHAHAHA.
Wondering why I wore the same shirt with jing and it's from wrs? It's cause that pampered birthday girl PUSHED ME AND JING DOWN THE POOL!!!! and worse of all, me and jing was having menses and she pushed us down the pool!!!!! EEEEW! She even tore my shirt while pushing me and I defend myself (by lying on the floor) :'( I had cuts on my legs because of this cause the floor is those stone kind and the friction was just..... =_=. So anyways, after being pushed down, me and jing dragged her down too! We left her cousin yandy alone cause she was having her phone and if we pull he down with us, her phone will spoil! hehe. >:D In the end, since all of us were wet already, we continued playing in the pool LOL. Went over to her house for a quick shower and thus, me and jing has the same shirt! The shirt that I wore was her smallest shirt.... can you believe it? LOL. It's quite oversized for me though. :'( But it's okay... I look and smell like venus...... lol. After showering, we went to help at the bbq pit but the parents shooed us away cause they say that we will destroy the food :'( lol...... so we went to the playground instead and boy, feels so good to play with the slides and all! It felt as if we were all just 7 years old hehe.
Went back to school on one of the saturdays for mrs stella goh's workshop and briefing for program. It was a really long and tiring workshop I swear! everything ends at about 6+ If I'm not wrong? Was dead tired by then but these cinnamon rolls cheered me up! :') It's sooo sweet and chocolaty! Really love being in friend in knead's baking session and programs cause I get to help, and bring home good and yumz food! The sense of achievement, joyfulness and the friendships made/bonded were awesome! And at the same time, we make people happy and feel wanted by baking them stuffs and all! So it's double joyfulness hehe. :)
Attended family bonding session at malaysia with all my relatives except for the cousins as they were busy working on one of the saturdays! Had yumz buffet and with 30+ people, our bill were only like $500rm LOL? Swear it's super cheap. There were alot of good food like quality beef, seafood and all but I don't eat those LOL. Swear I'm super picky when it comes to eating and mum kept lecturing me because of my food :( All my food are common food that can be eaten at any time.... and my mum was like "LING AH, COME BUFFET DON'T EAT NOODLES! GO FILL YOUR PLATE WITH GOOD FOOD NOW, TAKE ALL THE EXPENSIVE ONE AH!!". LOL. swear my mum's super cheapskate! But nvm la, I didn't listen to her anyways cause I don't enjoy good food LOL. Was super filling too. :D
Went to support zhen zhen for her singing competition on one of the saturdays as well! Didn't wanted to go initially but after much persuasion from my mum, I decided to just go since it's a rare opportunity and she's in the top 10! And I prepared 2 boards for her at the last minute cause I thought she'll feel more loved and have more confidence when singing!! :D As It was a really last minute board, I drew the outline only and got my mum to shade them LOL. and........ look at the weird colours... T_T Oh well~ at least I had the heart to do it so everything's okay and fine. :D When on the way to malaysia, I saw jiaqi when I was on the bus and texted her, surprisingly, she was heading over to KSL too!!!! Same destination as me and guess what? When she came out of the taxi, I saw her LOL! I think we're really fated lor HAHA. Anyways, zhenzhen got top 5 I guess, but not top 3 so she was a little upset :(. Also, it was a little embarrassing to hold the board cause no one else in malaysia bought or did any boards for any of the contestants!!! :/ Wanna see how she fare? :D ! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151090677456158&set=t.1647093137&type=3&theater
Celebrated venus' birthday on one of the days at empire state! Had great fun with her and jing! <3 :D
Had my fnn practical and those are my dishes! :( my pie failed miserably so i used icing sugar to cover the failed areas LOL. so smart of me HAHAHHAA.
and with that, that's the end of the post I guess. :) till next time! ciaos! ^^
oh before i end this post, I really wanna thank everyone for standing by me, supporting me, giving me physical and mental support! :D With all these supports, I realize I can actually forgive and forget the person! ^^ Thank you so much, especially to Andrew. thank you andrew! So blessed to have you as a friend. :D
And of course, not forgeting my cousins, mummy, jing they all, william, mark kor, zaid and all the others, really really blessed to know you guys! :D
alrights, that's officially all i have! Ciaooooooos people!
hi :)
ReplyDeleteoh yummy food pictures :D
you have cute hair! ^^
xx
heyyy, thank you! ^^
ReplyDelete